The Mystery
About a week ago I turned 26. I really like birthdays. I especially like my birthday. Each year I try to prepare myself that it will be just like any other day. Each year I try not to expect a surprise party, or being showered with presents. Yet, each year I can’t help but wake up really really excited and throughout the day wonder what treats might be just around the corner. Luckily I have some really nice friends, a truly romantic and thoughtful husband, and a mommy who remembers to send wrapped presents so that they arrive right on your birthday.
I once read something by Henri Nouwen (definitely one of my favorite authors) about how important he believes that birthdays are. We live in a culture that celebrates only the worthy. Our culture celebrates success. Our culture celebrates accomplishment. Our culture celebrates achievements. The one possible exception to this is the celebration of birthdays. When we celebrate someone’s birthday, we are celebrating the fact that he or she is alive. We are celebrating them for just being them, not for having achieved anything. We are celebrating them in the way that God celebrates each of us every day. I think that is part of the reason why I like birthdays so much. It just feels so good to be loved in that way.
Something that I can’t seem to figure out no matter how hard I try is why God loves us. If I had to sum up the entire bible, I think I would say it is the story of God’s desperate love for his children. But, I still don’t really know why God loves us. You know, I actually don’t think most people, including me, really live out of a belief that God loves us. I think it’s just too big. Too unimaginable. Too confusing. Too weird. Too mysterious.
Mystery. I think that has been my favorite word lately; especially when thinking about, or praying to God. Maybe lately I have been most in love with the mystery of God. When I think upon God’s mystery, I compelled to fall upon my face. I am so unworthy of His mystery. Yet, he blesses me with little pieces of it each day. To me the mystery of God is in all those things that allow us to taste his infinite beauty, but yet still be left wondering and yearning; seeking and searching.
His mystery is in the sound of a song that reminds you that you are alive; you are alive in a way that there are no words for. His mystery is in the first songs of birds after a long winter of cold silence. His mystery is in the soft fur of my little cat Billy. His mystery is in the way you can look at the face of your spouse after having looked at it thousands of times before and see something new, something more beautiful than you have ever seen before. His mystery is in the scent of rain on a spring day. His mystery is in how some of my happiest times are sitting in my living room talking and laughing with a group of high school girls. His mystery is the tiniest most beautiful flower that was made just for you to see.
There is mystery in every day and each moment. It is there, but sometimes I ask myself where are we?
